Can you believe this is our fifth newsletter? Thank
you for your incredible response and sharing your
ideas and suggestions about what would be helpful in
your everyday life.
Remember, to read more in depth
articles about some of the newsletter issues, I hope
you will click onto the full article link and let me know
via e-mail which topics you would be interested in
hearing more about. This is a way for me to keep you
up to date about my current thoughts, Sanity Savers
and information about articles and appearances.
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On June 7th, Wedding Sanity Savers: How to
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions That Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Day co-authored with Annie Gilbar, will be
available in bookstores. I will keep you informed
about media appearances related to the book.
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
College Kids Coming Home for Vacation
It's May and time for college students to return
home. Before you panic, remember the major goal is
to stay close and
not alienate your soon-to-be young adult child.
you want your college student to come home and be
comfortable, acknowledge that a passage has
happened. Give them a lot of room. They are
spreading their wings and it's a healthy time for
Here are some other Sanity Savers for you to
be aware of upon your child's return:
- Establish new criteria hopefully a month
right upon their return. Find middle ground between
"old" rules and "no" rules. Think about paying bills,
summer jobs, savings for the fall semester, neatness
at home and sexuality issues regarding sleeping
arrangements for visiting boy/girlfriends.
- Respect their private lives as they should
- Do NOT roll the clock back. Both you and
your returning college student have changed.
- See the world through their eyes. Get to
know who they are growing into and becoming.
- Don't encourage regression. Making a
of sleeping till 1:00pm is a problem. Kids have to
to pace themselves.
Trust, let go, kick back, relax and enjoy their visit.
Remember this is time limited - at most 10 weeks!
|Happening in May
May 2nd (9:45am)
Commentary about Runaway Bride and Pre-
May 2nd (8:00pm)
ABC NEWS NOW "Inside the Newsroom"
Commentary about Runaway Bride
May 4-10th (11-2:00pm)
Featured Wellness Speaker (Canyon Ranch at
Queen Mary 2, Trans-Atlanic Crossing
May 23rd (7-8:30pm)
Teens & Anti-Semitism:What We Wish Our
Parents Knew (ADL)
The Conservative Synagogue, Westport, CT
May 25th (8:00am Grand Rounds)
Keeping Your Balance: Parents and Professionals
Learning from One Another as They Provide the Best
for a Population with Extra Needs
Premium Health Care, NYC
May/June 2005 Issue AARP Magazine
Setting Limits: How to Strike the Right Balance
Between Doing Too Much for Your Parents - And Not
|Wedding Sanity Savers
New Book with Annie Gilbar
My new book, co-authored with Annie
Gilbar, Wedding Sanity Savers:
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
will be in bookstores
on June 7th but you can pre-order it today
by clicking below.
Addressing the psychological pitfalls that go with
getting married, Wedding Sanity Savers
shares questions and answers from my advice
column on WeddingChannel.com and offers brides,
grooms and their families a helpful guide during the
Pre Wedding Jitters
Given the recent headlines about the Runaway
Bride, it's important that we focus on pre-wedding
jitters that are not taken to
When someone announces their intentions to marry,
the usual (and desired) response is joy, excitement,
and immediately going into "planning" mode. Why,
then, is there so much stress?
Given that a wedding involves a) being asked to
make a huge change in one's life; b) making both a
decision and lifetime commitment; c) adjusting to
your own and someone else's family; d) being the
center of attention; e) compromising in areas where
you feel strongly; and f) questioning if you will lose
your identity, it is virtually impossible to glide through
flawlessly. However, it still can be interesting and
Here's how to keep an open
- Be aware of stress. When it appears,
acknowledge it and find ways to manage it. People
handle stress and change in
a variety of ways. Be sensitive.
- Recognize the phases in the wedding
process. Everyone's adjustment process is
- Plan as much as you can as early as you can
so that you have some time to enjoy the
process, your fiance, and other aspects of your life.
- Get rid of needing things, people, services to
be "perfect." Recognize that everything will not
perfect! And remember, there is a big difference
between perfection and high standards.
- Face your fears and write about
- Ask questions about what it is like to be
married. So many people focus only on the wedding
and forget about what this is all about; building a life
with someone you love.
- Share and delegate some
to those you can trust. Don't let your friend
hand dip the chocolate strawberries if she knows
nothing about cooking/entertaining.
- Slow Down. Stay in the moment.
quieting exercise (meditation, walking, prayer, yoga)
|I'm OK, You're My Parents
Now in Paperback
I'm Ok, You're My Parents: How to Overcome
Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship
That Works is now in paperback!
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including
Sisters; From the Heart: Men and
Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives;
Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children;
OK, You're My Parents and the soon to be
Wedding Sanity Savers.
Find out more....