I am so pleased to have reached the half year
anniversary with the newsletter. This issue is
dedicated to keeping BALANCE in our lives and
relationships which is so important in today's busy
Thank you, again, for your valuable feedback. Your
ideas help me to decide which topics to emphasize as
helpful and healthful suggestions for improving our
everyday lives. Please use the Send to a Friend
button below to share this newsletter with friends,
family and colleagues.
On June 7th, Wedding Sanity Savers: How to
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions That Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Day co-authored with Annie Gilbar, will be
available in bookstores. I will keep you informed
about media appearances related to the book.
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
Finding Balance in Everyday Life
Balance is the key to life. When we're not in
balance, every aspect of our life can become a
challenge. Simple pleasures fail to satisfy us and we
become less productive, have less energy and are
weighed down by seemingly minor problems and
disappointments. Even our health can suffer, as we
more easily and normal sleeping and eating
Here are 10 Elements of Balance to incorporate into
your everyday life to help you achieve and maintain a
- Love and Friendships - We all need
with others. Put the effort into making all of your
relationships healthy and
- Restful and Restorative Sleep - Recharge
batteries by getting sufficient sleep each night. Try
to establish good sleeping patterns by going to bed
and waking up the same time each day. To relax
before bedtime, have soothing herbal tea and take
aromatic bath. Try to avoid watching TV,
particularly the news just before dozing off.
- Fulfilling and Meaningful Work - Fulfilling
purpose through our work, whether or not it is
your "job", is one of the most
important things we can do.
- Play and Laugh - Everyone needs to
have some fun!
- A Healthy Diet - Eating well is a lifestyle
decision. Make healthy choices daily so you can
avoid the dieting yo-yo track and get the full benefit
from your food.
- Exercise and Body Awareness - Be active
find enjoyable ways to stay fit.
- Communing with Nature - Get outdoors,
fresh air and enjoy the simple pleasures. A day at
the beach, gardening, or a walk in the park are easy
to include nature in your life.
- Intellectual Stimulation - Find people
interesting to be with, take a class or read about
topics that fascinate you.
- A Need for Unity and a Sense of Community
all are part of a whole. Find ways to contribute
the greater good. Volunteer for a worthy cause or
- Spirituality/Prayer/Meditation - Find inner
and peace through daily reflection. Develop your own
spiritual relationship in a manner
comfortable for you.
REMEMBER to spend time with people who care about
you and whom you care about; NOT with those
who do not respect your values. DO NOT accept
other people's opinions of who you should be.
|Happenings in June
June 20th (8:00pm)
AGING WELL (Bronx Net Channel 67)
June 23rd (12:30pm)
COURT TV: Both Sides with Kimberly
Guilfoyle Newsom and Vinnie Politan
|Wedding Sanity Savers
In Bookstores on June 7th!
My new book, co-authored with Annie
Gilbar, Wedding Sanity Savers:
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
will be in bookstores
on June 7th but you can pre-order it today
by clicking below.
Addressing the psychological pitfalls that go with
getting married, Wedding Sanity Savers
shares questions and answers from my advice
column on WeddingChannel.com and offers brides,
grooms and their families a helpful guide during the
Money and Marriage
For many couples money is a touchy topic. There is
no one right answer or formula for everyone. How to
money situations and what to do if you and your
partner are not aligned is a challenge. Therefore, it
is important to make
an effort to recognize an imbalance, communicate,
and make one another feel more comfortable.
really strong relationship to thrive, the focus should
not be about money. The BALANCE of the
(rather than the balance sheet) is what is vital to
the flourishing of a marriage. When things get out of
balance, trouble brews. The key for all couples is to
resist outside pressures of what is
expected and create what works for them.
Here are some TIPS for you and your partner to
discuss on the topic of money.
- Find out if either of you is uncomfortable
about issues related to money.
- Determine and designate income, savings and
debt that is "ours", "yours" and "mine" and how
adjust if circumstances change.
- Focus on each other's "financial" strengths
build trust in each other's ability to make sound
financial decisions. One of you might be a "numbers"
person and can balance the checkbook while the
other may be better at overseeing
- Discuss how you feel about being equal
your relationship regardless of who makes more
money. Determine how much decision making
each of you should have.
- Have financial and lifestyle goals and
map out a
plan on how to achieve them.
- Encourage each other's growth and career
development with an awareness of the amount
money those career choices will reap.
- Discuss any future plans to take time off work
attend school or pursue other interests and who
would be financially responsible.
- Make a plan for raising a family. Who will
time, part time or not at all? Determine what you will
save and pay for, for example your children's
education, their first car, etc. Think about how you
will share household chores and child care.
- Make a household budget both of you
comfortable with. What percentage of your income
goes to necessities, discretionary spending and
savings? Determine if you'll have one budget
(sharing all income and expenses) or more budgets
(household and individual accounts).
- Discuss the need for a prenuptial or
agreement as soon as
possible. Delay in bringing up the subject only
stress to the relationship.
- Money matters should be private. Be
aware of potential problems when discussing financial
- Earmark what portion of your income is for
and helping others.
The goal is not that you and your partner agree on
everything, but that each partner feels valued,
heard, understood and appreciated. Review your
financial commitments periodically to see they
accurately reflect your present points of view.
Many of you have asked me what to say when a
friend, colleague or loved one is sick. Cancer
Etiquette, a new book by Rosanne Kalick, will
when you're at a loss for words if someone you know
has been diagnosed with cancer.
|I'm OK, You're My Parents
Now in Paperback
I'm Ok, You're My Parents: How to
Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship
That Works is now in paperback!
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including
Sisters; From the Heart: Men and
Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives;
Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children;
OK, You're My Parents and the soon to be
Wedding Sanity Savers.
Find out more....