Sanity Savers and More...
October 2005


As Autumn begins, we can take time for ourselves and reflect on our place in the larger world. These last few weeks have been filled with images of people in desperate situations whose lives have undergone tremendous sudden change.

In response, this edition of the newsletter will address:

  • Sanity Savers for dealing with differences,
  • and
  • Tips for keeping balance by giving back in times of crises.

Thank you again for helping to get the word out about my new book (co-authored with Annie Gilbar), Wedding Sanity Savers.

Please pass along this newsletter to your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below and tell me you thoughts under "What's on Your Mind?"

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers
    Dealing with Differences
  • What's On Your Mind?
  • Happening in October
  • TIPS
    Keeping Balance by Giving Back in Times of Crisis
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers
    Dealing with Differences

    When we're overwhelmed by current events and all that we have to do, it's easy to become stressed and impatient with the people we live and deal with on a daily basis. Somethimes, we snap more easily and are not as accepting of other's differences of opinions and outlooks.

    Here are some Sanity Savers to keep in mind when we have different viewpoints, especially with family members and co-workers.

    • Don't put down other's opinions - Try not to judge or criticize. Keep personalities and history out of it. Stick to the topic at hand.
    • Be creative in problem solving - Compromise is okay (even for parents!)
    • Allow yourself to see the other person's perspective and try something new - Just because you have always looked at a situation one way, doesn't mean it's the only way.
    • Discuss different aspects of a topic - Even if the subject matter is difficult and clear answers are hard to come by, hang in there.
    • Encourage and learn to be comfortable with individuality and individual expression - Allowing others to be themselves shows you care.
    • Listen better - Do not interrupt or don't anticipate what the other person will say. Try to understand their perspective. You do not have to agree.
    • Be patient and let others think things through - You lay the groundwork for mutual respect and consideration when it's time to say your "peace".

    What's On Your Mind?

    Let's have a "virtual" cup of coffee together.

    I'd like to know your thoughts about what you would like to see in this newsletter. My goal is to bring you interesting Sanity Savers, tips and articles about what's on your mind and what you confront in your daily life.

    If you have suggestions, please click below. Who knows, you might even have a great topic for T.V.!

    Happening in October

    TODAY Show
    Click to Dr. Dale's website for upcoming TODAY Show appearances.
    Dates and times subject to change.

    NYU School of Medicine (Oct. 23rd, 8:30am - noon)
    NYU Farkas Auditorium, NYC
    Topic: SANITY SAVERS: Coping Strategies for Families of Children with Cochlear Implants
    To register email or call (212) 263-3317

    Keeping Balance by Giving Back in Times of Crisis

    Is It Time to Start Giving Back?
    The devastation of Katrina and now Rita forces many of us to reflect on our own lives and what is meaningful. Is our life in balance? Have we gotten off track from that which is important? Is it time to start giving back?

    Giving Back Benefits Others and You
    If you're left with feelings of loss and sadness at this time, maybe you can use our nation's natural distasters as a catalyst for committing yourself to some kind of service for others. Contributing is good for us and helps us heal from crises. And the plus is when you help others, YOU also benefit by:

    • Being a part of something larger than yourself
    • Making a difference in the word
    • Modeling for children
    • Working with others; not feeling isolated, alone or cut off
    • Improving your physical, mental and emotional health
    • Feeling good about touching other's lives.

    Where to Begin?
    If you want to volunteer and don't know where to begin, start small, keep it simple and let your charitable nature grow. Here are some ideas to get started:

    1. Write a letter - Connecting with someone such as an inmate in jail is so simple yet so welcome.
    2. Call a local chapter of any charity that has meaning to you (cancer society, homeless shelter, animal refuge) and ask what is needed.
    3. Help in a local library.
    4. Get involved with a cause or political campaign.
    5. Hold and spend time with a baby in the hospital.
    6. Play the piano at a nursing home.
    7. Rake leaves or shovel snow for a home bound elderly person.
    8. Cook a meal for your local shelter.
    9. Help teach children to read.

    Maintain your own balance and take a break from the problems of the world. Try not to be glued to the news or obsessed with situations beyond your control. Keep a "fresh" perspective by taking in a comedy or getting together for an enjoyable evening with friends.

    A Thought

    Happiness cannot come from hatred or anger. Nobody can say, "Today I am happy because this morning I was very angry." On the contrary, people feel uneasy and sad and say, "Today I am not happy because I lost my temper this morning." Through kindness, whether at our own level or at the national and international level, through mutual understanding and through mutual respect, we will get peace, we will get happiness, and we will get genuine satisfaction.

    -His Holiness the Dalai Lama

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and media commentator who appears regularly on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience as a relationship expert, focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well and stress management.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
  • and her lastest book

  • Wedding Sanity Savers
  • Find out more....
    Quick Links...

    Dale's Advice on Weddings at

    Dale's Advice on Healthy Eating & Lifestyle at

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