Spring has sprung and its time to check in and see
how to grow and flourish in this new season of
To live a BALANCED life, we need to care for
ourselves and to show others we care for them. I
hope you benefit from Is Your Reservoir Dry?
Living a Life of Gratitude and
incorporate my Sanity Savers and Tips
into your everyday life.
Please pass along this newsletter to
loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a
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Wishing you health, peace and
Is Your Reservoir Dry?
Look At Your Life
Ask yourself these questions: Are you on track? Are
you running on empty? Do you feel overwhelmed? Are
you spending too much time with people who deplete
your personal resources--not to mention your
patience? Is it hard for you to say no? If you can
answer yes--even begrudgingly--to any of these
questions, you may be at a point where it’s
impossible to give of yourself. This bottom-
of-the-barrel feeling lets you know that your
You Can’t Give Anything To Others If Your Supply
I often use the metaphor of a reservoir to help
people imagine their own reserves. Is your personal
reservoir full to the brim? Half-full or dry? When you
get dangerously close to empty, your capacity to
give dries up. Always remember that you must have
SOMETHING in your reservoir both for those
unexpected emergencies when you need to pull
yourself together to be there for yourself or others,
and for everyday,
successful living and coping. If you’re not meeting
your own needs, there is no possible way for you to
attend to others or give your own life projects the
energy and attention they deserve. Your live your life
too close to the edge.
Visualize a Full Reservoir
Right now, this minute, relax and, in your mind’s eye,
imagine a reservoir full of water. Then
imagine it empty, but with hordes of people trying to
get the water they need. You’ll see panic, fear,
anger--and an empty reservoir. Consider what you
need to do to refill it so you have what you need to
stay full and giving. Then prepare a checklist of
activities and attitudes that will help it remain full.
When you sense that your reservoir is dropping to
scary levels, refer to your list to keep yourself
You can also soak up these Sanity Savers to
- Breathe - Notice what is happening when
becomes depleted. Are your breaths shallow, short,
restricted? Take deep breaths that are long-
lasting. Take moments out of your day to breathe
through life’s challenges and bring calm back into
- Remove and Refill - Is there something
can put aside or totally remove from your daily tasks
to encourage your replenishing yourself?
- Don’t Keep Up With The Joneses Or
That Matter - When you talk to people, are they
comparing their busy life with yours? Is there a
subtle jealousy regarding who is doing more or has
on his or her plate? Identify those with whom you
feel competition and determine how much
energy you want to give to that dance. Try sitting
on the bench and observe rather than running the “I
Want What You Have” race--which nobody ever
wins, by the way.
- Limit Your Time - Are you spending a lot
with people who deplete your personal resources? If
so, do something about it. Determine ways to limit or
restructure the time you spend with
them so that your experience is enhanced. It
helps to bring along a neutral friend to relieve
- Savor Your Time -What would it mean if
no to people so you could gather your own wits
about you and have more time to think or simply be
still? When asked to do something that you really
don’t have the time for or interest in, think of this
response: “Sounds great, but this is not the right
time for me.” Or, "Let me think about
it and I’ll get back to you.” Do as you say you will,
and get back to them. But say what you mean.
- Keep Your Own Needs High On The List -
consider the pros and cons when you have to invest
time and energy. Turn the ringer off of the phone
and sit quietly, even if only for a few minutes. Drink a
cup of aromatic herbal tea as you relive a wonderful
a park, a great family party, a summer vacation. Play
with a pet, attend to houseplants or your garden. Do
something that thrills you.
Your reservoir will only be full when you take time
to fill it.
|Let's Have Another "Virtual" Cup of Tea Together
Or do you like coffee, cappuccino or a latte?
Whatever your relaxing beverage of choice, pour
a cup and let me know what's on your mind
by emailing me at email@example.com or simply
click on IDEAS (and then click on my email address).
I look forward to staying current with what you are
confronting in your life and what you want to
read about in upcoming Sanity Savers e-newsletters.
knows, you might even have a great topic for TV!
|Happening in April
times of upcoming segments to be posted on Dr.
Naomi's New Morning (Naomi Judd)Caregiving
The Hallmark Channel
Dates and times to be
on Dr. Dale's
Living a Life of Gratitude
You know them! You’ve seen them! Those people
who have light in their eyes, whom you cannot
who are ageless. What is their secret? No it is not a
wrinkle cream. It is living a life of appreciation,
gratitude and awareness of the beauty around them
and within their lives.
Having an attitude of gratitude and appreciation
contributes to keeping you young, vital and
involved. A thank you, compliment or expression of
praise given to someone else is a low price to pay
to reap the priceless rewards of a youthful outlook.
In the most
difficult times, these “appreciators” have hope. Their
positive perspective contributes to their resiliency
and pulls them
Now that it's SPRING (think new beginnings), there is
opportunity for new growth which brings
transformation and change. We see beauty all around
us in nature as flowers bud and breezes get warmer.
These are wonderful things to appreciate so how can
you apply this feeling of gratitude to your own life?
What can you appreciate more and while you are at
it, demonstrate that appreciation so others know
they are valued.
Beginning to notice and focus on
what you may have taken for granted is a good way
to SPRING into your own transformation.
Here are a few more ways to increase your
- Be Aware - Of everyone around you. Is
someone who touches you in a positive way? It
doesn't matter how big or small the effect on your
life, what matters is that this person contributes
positively and will welcome the
- Family Matters- Isn't it the
way it goes? The people who support us the most
and who are always there, are the ones who never
get enough recognition. We tend to take our loved
ones for granted and "assume" they know we care.
Let people closest to you know how much you
appreciate all they do for you and for others. Kids
especially respond well to praise for tasks
accomplished and chores well done rather than
complaints aimed at the inevitable "messy" room or
the TV left on again. And remember to tell them you
love them as they are.
- Repetition is OK - Expressing your thanks
is as important to you as for the other person.
People always need to be appreciated. If they
say, "Oh you don't have to keep thanking me," find
the right way for this person to know you value
- Find Creative Ways to Say You Care -
express our gratitude matters. If you usually
say it, try a hand written note next time. Surprise
them with the right card
or their favorite flowers to emphasize your feelings.
Spending time enjoying each other's company
(especially when everyone's so busy) is
another good way to demonstrate your gratitude for
having this person in your life.
- Also Give Thanks for Every Breathe - Life
is a gift and
that's why the here and now is called the PRESENT.
We should never let a sunny day, sandy beach, or
awe inspiring mountaintop go unoticed. Let nature
and all it has to offer inspire your grateful attitude.
Allow every day you are here on this planet be an
amazement and offer up your thanks.
If you have a story or a unique way in which you
express gratefulness, let me know. I'd love to
share your thoughts with others. Jot me an email at
firstname.lastname@example.org or click below (and click on
One who knows how to show and to accept kindness
will be a friend better than any possession.
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
SistersFrom the Heart:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
How to Overcome
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!