Sanity SaversTM and More...
August 2007


As we enter August, some of us are feeling as if we are deep into summer, eager to get into or stay in our vacation mode while others of us are getting into the "back to school" mentality. This way of thinking applies to "back to work" or "back to the routine" so be aware that you are enjoying the moment instead of looking too far into the future; you will miss out on NOW if you are not careful. Before you think about "going back to anything" savor the moments you have right now. Whether or not you are on vacation, create time to do something special for yourself and with those you love.

Shifting Dependency: When Children Leave discusses the issues families face when children going off to college or new jobs bring about changes at home for the ones left behind.

In this month's tips, Tips for a Happy Marriage or Relationship, I offer suggestions to help couples get their relationships on track and keep the romance alive in the midst of daily life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances related to my new book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life. I am proud to be a member of the Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose is to help people live the best life wherever they are. Please click Westin Renewal Council for some personal renewal tips. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    Now In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Shifting Dependency: When Children Leave
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for a Happy Marriage or Relationship
    Keeping the Spark
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    Now In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is out in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the week.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    Shifting Dependency: When Children Leave

    As the summer comes to a close, those who have depended on the help they receive from their older children with household chores or child care for younger siblings are now in for a major change in their lives as those older children leave the nest for college, the military, or employment far from home. Often, parents who work outside of their homes rely on older children as a way to keep the family fully functioning, whether they are helping with food shopping, escorting younger kids from camp or day care, preparing meals and generally helping out with younger relatives.

    Shifting responsibilities can lead to anxiety for all family members prior to and during the transition. Younger children in particular may be prone to fear. However, some early planning and outreach to your support network can help you, and your children, offset the stress of changing circumstances. This is the time to connect with responsible neighbors, discover well supervised community programs, and special events organized through the local religious organizations (whether or not you are members.)

    While some children build a strong sense of independence and competency others are not comfortable at all. They feel more secure with other people around. For those who are not thrilled about being alone, try to organize activities where their time alone is minimized. Consider visits with a neighbor who is homebound. The child can read to them, play games, water their plants, or just keep them company. Both can benefit, especially if there is a generational gap.

    Check out which libraries or sports centers may need helpers and inquire whether the local pet shop can use another set of hands to help out with the animals or cleaning out the fish tanks.

    Providing projects for your child to engage in and complete during his or her time at home can give a sense of purpose and achievement. Children who have hobbies such as reading, working with their hands, knitting, sewing, quilting, putting together models, drawing, making puppets, collecting and arranging stamps can, and do, get lost in those activities and feel a sense of accomplishment and comfort.

    If your child does not have such interests, while your older children are home, ask them to learn such a skill with your younger child or provide a place where they can learn something they did not know before.

    For the time you are not at home, touch base via cell phone and instant message so you and your child are connected.

    Finally, assure your older child that although you will miss them, and their contribution to the family, that this is now their time to branch out and have their own life. You will manage.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Today -Weekend Edition
    Please check the website www.drdaleatkins.com for updated listings.

    New Morning Show
    August 28th: How to Get Out of Your Own Way
    Hallmark Channel, 7:00am

    The Premier Women's Blogging Site: Sanity Savers

    The Lisa Birnbach Radio Show
    Dr. Dale's Sanity Savers
    Every other Wed., 9:15-10:00am
    August 8th
    August 22nd

    The Lisa Birnbach Show airs LIVE Mon-Fri 9am- Noon EST

    Nantucket Golf Club
    August 23rd: Guest Speaker, Sanity Savers
    Sisconset, MA

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Why is it that so many of us stop laughing?

    So often we stifle our laughter, even though nothing feels quite as good (or is as good for you) as a true belly laugh - the kind that makes you cry. Laughter keeps you young. If you have not had a good laugh to day, now is the time to make that happen. Do something that makes you smile and feel really good.

    Whatever it is, someday you will laugh about it...so why not now?

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for a Happy Marriage or Relationship
    Keeping the Spark

    Falling in love is great. Having a great relationship is wonderful. Over time, though, it can become easy to take your relationship for granted. It is normal for healthy relationships and marriages to go through phases, and we all need to be aware that we have the power to make them better. When "life gets in the way" and time pressures and stress from work, family obligations, and money get the better of us, couples lose sight of the "we" and focus only on the "I." Here are some Sanity Savers to keep you focused on the "we" from the get-go.

    • Commit Yourself - Commit yourself to this person and believe you will build a life and a future together. Give a whole lot more than 60% to the other person and to the relationship every day.
    • Respect Your Mate - Demonstrate respect through your words, actions, thoughts and non-verbal communication. Be willing to see his or her point of view.
    • Take Responsibility for Yourself - Nobody is perfect, not even you. Hold yourself accountable for your own stuff...the positive and the negative.
    • Spend Quality Time Together - Take a class, work together for a cause, or do something enojoyable that encourages growth for both of you.
    • Create a Refuge for the Two of You - Create a nurturing, safe and honest space where you can be comfortable talking about anything .
    • Savor Each Moment - There are no perfect people, but there are perfect moments. String them together as best as you can.
    • Laugh as Much as You Can- ...Together and on your own. Having a sense of humor is a common ingredient to all good relationships.

      Caring for your relationship takes energy and focus, but the rewards are worth the effort.

    A Thought

    They do not love that do not show their love.

    John Heywood

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her new book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
    Quick Links...


    Dr. Dale's Sanity Savers for a Balanced Life

    Dr. Dale's Healthy Eating & Lifestyle Advice

    Dr. Dale's Wedding Advice

    Contact Us

    Website Developer

    I'm OK
    You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works

    Now in Paperback!

    Join our mailing list!