Sanity SaversTM and More...
September 2007


Now that the summer is winding down and you are gearing up for the fall and what is often a more scheduled routine, think about shifing your focus.

It is never too early to consider the life lessons and values you wish to pass on to family members and friends. In Ethical Wills I discuss the importance of reflecting on your own life and sharing what is truly important to you in a way that makes it easy to pass along your perspective, insights and knowledge to your family, friends and community.

In this month's tips, Tips for Mourning: Taking the Time to Heal, I offer suggestions for moving through loss, at your own pace, and in your own way.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances related to my newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life. I am proud to be a member of the Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose is to help people live the best life wherever they are. Please click Westin Renewal Council for some personal renewal tips. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Ethical Wills: Pass Along Your Own Life's Lessons to Your Children and Grandchildren
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for Mourning:
    Taking Time to Heal
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    Ethical Wills: Pass Along Your Own Life's Lessons to Your Children and Grandchildren

    Many of us are quite clear about making sure we have a "last will and testament" or a "living will" letting others know our desires if we are unable to make choices for ourselves when faced with medical decisions. Few of us, though, are just as clear about the footprint in the sand that we want to leave. This is a gift for our families, friends and community. You can do this by writing an ethical will.

    Over time, whether our families live near or far from us, we may or may not take the time or create the situation to engage with them in the way we would like. With focus, clarity and intention, you can share your thoughts, feelings, and values with those you love. You can do this in writing, on film, video, DVD, audio tape, or any way that suits you. And you can choose to reveal the contents of this during your lifetime or leave it for after your death.

    The point is that you give those who are dear to you a look at what was and is important to you; how you viewed and view life. Composing an ethical will can help you healthfully confront and come to terms with death. The process can help you to focus on what had meaning in your life and helps to provide closure. Your relatives and friends may or may not know your life story, why you made the choices you did, and what you learned along the way. It can be helpful to you and to them if you share specific life lessons that you learned that changed or reinforced your values. You may wish to consider where and how forgiveness factors in, and what were some of the dreams you had and did not share.

    You can ask yourself questions to begin the thought process and take notes or record your responses. This is not a "one shot experience." You can keep a notebook and write in it as you feel inspired and then edit it (or not) with information that is uniquely yours about your personal values; what they are and how they have evolved and changed over time.

    Ethical wills are not legal documents, but they may be the most important gift you can leave to the people in your life.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Today -Weekend Edition
    Please check the website www.drdaleatkins.com for updated listings.

    New Morning Show
    September 17th: We're All a Work in Progress
    Hallmark Channel, 7:00am

    Albert Einstein College of Medicine - Westchester/ Fairfield Chapter
    September 19th, 12:00PM: Luncheon Speaker, Sanity Savers: Living a Balanced Life No Matter What Happens
    Old Oaks Country Club, 3100 Purchase St., Purchase, NY

    YWCA of Greenwich- "Center for Women's Leadership" and the Greenwich Library Peterson Business Program Series (Generous sponsorship by Westin Hotels)
    September 19th, 6:30-8:30PM: Guest Speaker with Barbara Scala, Sanity Savers
    Greenwich Library-Cole Auditorium, Greenwich, CT

    care ADvantage , Summer 2007 issue
    A publication for the Alzheimer's Foundation of America for caregivers of people with Alzheimer's Disease and related illnesses. Article:Caregiver Burnout, page 14

    Kaboose Article See link http://just-for-mom.kaboose.com/celebrity/mom-confessions.html

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Caring for a Pet

    If you live alone, have an empty nest, or have recently retired, having the right pet companionship can save your sanity while enhancing the quality of your life. Caring for a pet helps you stay balanced as you experience the joy of caregiving and become the recipient of unconditional love.

    Companionship comes in many forms. Do not overlook the value of the human-pet bond.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for Mourning:
    Taking Time to Heal

    Moving through mourning can take a VERY LONG TIME. Life is filled with loss. Although we may try to avoid it, it is unavoidable. Each of us needs to find our own style and timeframe for mourning.

    For some people, particularly those of us who have experienced multiple losses in a short period of time, we ask, Why Me? We wonder whether feelings of happiness, pleasure, appreciation will ever return. We seriously question when we will be able to go through a day without crying for most of it.

    At the same time, we are not really sure whether we can truly be ourselves when we are with those who love us and who have supported us through our darkest times. We fear they may have had enough of our anguish. We may feel our friends expect us to "bounce back", "get on with our lives", "stop feeling sorry for ourselves" but the truth is, we just don't have the energy, desire, interest, or skills to rebuild a shattered life. To protect them (and ourselves) we may spend more time alone so we can avoid the pressure to put on a happy face or act as if we are doing better than we actually are.

    Bear in mind that healing from loss is a process that generally takes longer than we imagine. Perhaps these tips can help.

    • Tune Into Your Personal Energy Level - Be careful about how much you push yourself each day. Honor your feelings on days when you have some energy, as well as those days when your energy fades.
    • Evaluate Your Schedule with Friends - Spend time doing only those things where you feel no pressure at all to actively engage if you are not yet ready.
    • Honor or Construct Rituals - Rituals can help you through your loss. If you feel comfortable, invite your friends into the "ritual space" so they can witness, appreciate and support you as you proceed through this time.
    • Focus - Focus on all of your blessings as you give yourself room and permission to mourn in your own way.

      You can keep loved ones' spirits alive and with you as you think of them, talk about them, and remember the way they touched your life.

    A Thought

    Remembered joys are never past; at once the fountain, stream, and sea, they were, they are, they shall yet be.

    J. Montgomery

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her new book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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