Sanity SaversTM and More...
October 2008


We are entering the month of October in the midst of tremendous flux and uncertainty in our country. It is easy to react to circumstances over which we seemingly have no control. During this time, I encourage you to be proactive in those areas of our lives where we have more influence than we may realize, and find a daily balance in our lives.

In Aging Well in an Unwelcoming Environment I focus on the need for all of us, whatever our age, to pay attention to our own attitudes about aging and developing meaningful intergenerational relationships.

In this month's tips, Getting Through the Day: Tips for Having a Bit Less Stress and a Lot More Enjoyment, I offer tips to guide your thinking from negative to positive in the face of life's challenges.

Can you imagine your childhood without your favorite stories? Neither can I. That is why I ask you to donate to Jumpstart's Read for the Record, an early childhood literacy campaign that encourages adults to read the same book on the same day with a child in their life to break a world record. With just a small donation of $10, you will provide a copy of this year's campaign book, Corduroy, to a child in a low income community. Watch the TODAY show (NBC) on October 2nd and become a part of the Read for the Record campaign. Visit www.readfortherecord.org to learn more.

Once again thank you for helping to get the word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances related to my newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life. For those of you with wedding related questions, please see my column on WeddingChannel.com at: www.weddingchannel.com/ui/buildArticle.action?assetUID=90252&s=84&t=71&p=106184112&c=90252&l=137006. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Aging Well in an Unwelcoming Environment
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Getting Through Each Day:
    Tips For Having A Bit Less Stress And A Lot More Enjoyment
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    Aging Well in an Unwelcoming Environment

    Age is a concept that is neither constant nor universal. Different cultures view aging in different ways. In some cultures older people are revered, respected and sought out for their wisdom. In the USA we are becoming more conscious of what it takes to age well, but that does not mean that as a society we value our older citizens.

    There are too many people who believe that aging is about diminishment and decline. Consequently, older people feel marginalized or ignored. While they are still productive, vital, interested, concerned, they are not "tapped" for their talents and wisdom by a younger population that not only values youth but devalues or ignores the experience and viewpoints that accompany age.

    Aging is about change and change involves loss. Connected with loss is stress. Some of us do better with change than others and there are ways to reduce the stress of change. The "golden years" are extending by decades and many of us, because we are conscious of taking care of ourselves nutritionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, emotionally, and mentally, have made choices to become more involved with life. We are active, contributing, taking risks, trying new things. We are learning, creating, developing or revisiting our passions, contributing and giving back to our communities, communing with nature, traveling to places we had only read about, meeting new people, enjoying the emotional depth of relationships, and being open to intergenerational friendships.

    In earlier times generations lived either together or close by one another. Multiple generations and extended family members knew what was going on in each other's lives, and they talked with and listened to each other. Because of today's family members living far from each other or just having "busy, independent lives" we need to make an effort to stay interested, involved and connected.

    A common recommendation for aging well is to develop friendships with people from different age groups. Mix it up! Learn about different perspectives, music, attitudes. Keep an open mind for dialogue. In theory that is great. In practice, many older adults (whether they are the "young old" or the "old old") are open to this suggestion and value the idea of these intergenerational opportunities to broaden their relationships.

    The problem is often NOT with them. Younger people are often resistant to developing relationships with older folks. As soon as they find out their numerical age they put them into a "category" and make assumptions about that category that reeks of stereotype. Some younger people believe that older people are unhappy. In fact, research shows that it is older people who are happier and have a more positive, optimistic attitude. Some younger people do not have the patience needed and are less interested in learning from and sharing with a person whose years of experience and wisdom can be beneficial to them. There appears to be "no time" to savor the relationship or the interaction. Because of some difficulties with hearing or memory retrieval or adapting to a slower pace, there is a blanket dismissal that there is nothing worth savoring and the opportunity for a meaningful relationship remains untouched. Nobody wants to be in a place where he or she is not wanted or valued.

    Take the opportunity to reexamine and reevaluate our attitude that does everything possible to extend life spans and make it possible to live healthfully longer and precious little to encourage truly respectful intergenerational exchange. So, to save your sanity, "reach across the age barrier aisle" for a broadening experience.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for updated listings.

    Anti-Defamation League, 2008 Upper Fairfield County Reception
    Oct. 26th: 5:30PM: Master of Ceremonies
    Temple Israel, 14 Coleytown Rd., Westport, CT. For more information please call (203) 288-6500.

    Jack Birnberg Speaks Out
    Oct. 13th: 10:05AM: TOPIC: Balance
    Radio Station WVNJ, accessible via www.wvnj.com

    John Edwards Cross Country
    Oct.. 4th: 10:30PM: TOPIC: Balance

    Cosmopolitan Magazine
    October 2008 Issue: TOPIC: How to Survive Life's Sucker Punches

    The Experts' Guide to Doing Things
    Chapter: Bury the Hatchet

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Enjoying a Few Moments of Solitude

    Aloneness is not the same as loneliness. Solitude lets us have our own undivided attention, and provides us with an opportunity to get to know ourselves better and to explore our inner world without distraction.

    Take a break from your daily routine and do nothing for a few minutes. This can help center, calm and refresh you, and can help make you more productive as you go back to your activities.

    Putting a bit of solitude into your life is essential to your health and happiness.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Getting Through Each Day:
    Tips For Having A Bit Less Stress And A Lot More Enjoyment

    Life is a series of events, all of which are potential opportunities for learning. It can be easy to focus on the negative, making it more difficult to cope. Although you can't just will yourself into a different emotional state, you can begin with changing your interpretation of events. This is a deliberate shift in thinking that can enable you to learn new ways to manage your response.

    How? Focus on the positive of every situation and understand that no time is wasted if you integrate the experience into your life and learn from it.

    Following are some tips to incorporate into your day:

    • Adapt - Adjust to physical changes with an attitude of CAN DO rather than that which I can no longer do.

    • Appreciate - Pay attention to at least three things for which you are grateful, and focus on them (write them down each day). You can develop an attitude based on gratitude.

    • Enlighten - Learn something new every day that will enter your "memory bank."

    • Connect - Reach out to and accept overtures from people you care about. Connecting with friends can boost your immune system and help keep you well.

    • Express - Actively demonstrate affection to the people in your life. Sincerely articulate one or two specific attributes or characteristics or actions that you appreciate about the people in your life and do what you can to make sure they "hear" you and "take it in."

    • Laugh - Laugh every day and allow that feeling to linger.

      Keep perspective and appreciate that whatever you are dealing with is TEMPORARY.

    A Thought

    "I never feel age. If you have creative work, you don't have age or time"

    Louise Nevelson

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her new book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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