The November colors and the November chill
remind us of change and bring into view the
cycle of life. We usher in the month as we
witness a change of leadership and see who
will become the next president of our nation.
And we will close the month concentrating on
gratitude for that which we have as we
celebrate Thanksgiving. Focusing on the
positive in our collective as well as our
individual lives is essential during such
challenging times as these.
In Finding Perspective During Challenging
Times I offer ways to bring balance into
your life if you are worried about some of
the adjustments you are making due to changes
in finances, employment, living arrangements,
goals and plans.
In Tips for Relaxation I offer
suggestions for breathing, creating moments
when you can focus on stillness and regaining
your sense of perspective. You can make a
point, every day, to participate in breathing
to balance yourself as you care for yourself
and train yourself to become more resilient.
Can you imagine your childhood without your
favorite stories? Neither can I. That is why
I ask you to donate to Jumpstart's Read for
the Record, an early childhood literacy
campaign that encourages adults to read the
same book on the same day with a child in
their life to break a world record. With
just a small donation of $10, you will
provide a copy of this year's campaign book,
Corduroy, to a child in a low income
community. Become a part of
the Read for the Record campaign. Visit www.readfortherecord.org
to learn more.
Finally, please remember to vote for
whomever you support. Your ability to vote
is a right that most people in the world do
not have. Many people have fought to the
death to secure it for their fellow men and
women. Do not take this liberty lightly.
Once again thank you for helping to get the
word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to
Live a Balanced Life. For those of you with
wedding related questions, please see my
column on WeddingChannel.com at:
And if you would like me to speak to your
group or organization, please contact me
directly at email@example.com or contact
the Speakers' Bureau at
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
your friends, loved ones and colleagues by
clicking Send to a Friend button
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Finding Perspective During Challening Times
The economic downturn has caused many of us
to be more stressed, anxious, frightened,
critical, less patient, and generally feel
that we are "on edge." Some of us (or our
family members) have lost (or are in danger
of losing) jobs. Others have lost other
sources of income. So it may seem odd timing
for me to suggest that now may be an
opportune time to begin focusing on the REAL
meaning of the holidays. This is a time to be
grateful for what we have. Prepare for and
put into effect an action plan but do not
dwell on the unexpected or on those aspects
of our lives that we do not have or fear we
will lose. Keeping a positive attitude in
times of strife will help you get through the
most trying times.
Remind yourself of the things that we should
be grateful for and the values we hold
Take care of yourself, from what you
whom you spend time with, to taking care of
your physical body and your soul. Keep your
attitude in check so you do not often travel
down the negative path, turning your thoughts
and language against yourself. It is hard to
move forward when you are simultaneously
pulling yourself back!
If you have lost your job, volunteer for a
local organization so you leave your home
every day. Go to some place where you are
needed and can make a valuable
You can train to take care of animals at a
local shelter, deliver food to home bound
elderly folks, read books to children in a
community - based after school program, sort
books at the library, or collect toys to
refurbish and wrap as holiday gifts. This is
a time to manage yourself as you realize that
there are many things that beyond your
control. Develop a plan of how to approach
and live each day. Decide the best time to
exercise, spend time outdoors, and engage
friends and family, volunteer, network,
search for jobs. Whatever you do, keep to a
If you have children, be mindful of how you
interact with them. Be honest but do not
frighten them. It can be scary and unnerving
for children to see their parents out of
control and unable to cope. It can be
unsettling to tell your children they cannot
shop they way they used to, that they need to
pay closer attention to what they (and you)
can do during these uncertain financial
times. Enlist their suggestions and respond
positively to their efforts to "chip in."
This can be done without frightening them but
rather as a way to contribute (conserving,
recycling, creating things they may have
Children thrive when their lives are
disrupted as little as possible. If things in
the family are going to change, share the
"the plan." Yes, it can be difficult to
engage them without specific answers to their
questions, but engage in as anyway that is
age appropriate that you can. WHEN will you
get another job? WHEN will you know if we
need to move? WHEN will I be able to go
shopping? WHEN will we be able to go on
vacation? Rather than saying, I don't know,
begin a conversation about how we, as a
family, will get through this time of
uncertainty. That while you are looking for a
job you will be meeting people, Create a set
plan that will guide you from week to week or
month to month and review it with them. Share
what you can and try to enlist their help.
You can help to assuage their fears by
reassuring them that you are doing the best
you can to get through this period as a
healthy, tight knit family; a family in which
everyone pitches in. It is a time to
reinforce the meaning of family and
rely on each other.
As part of dealing with getting through this
difficult time, realize that attitude is
everything. It is up to you to work out the
feelings of disappointment, failure, anger,
depression and let go of past hurts which may
come up to "bite you in the neck" as you deal
with the sense of loss and collapse and
disappointment that you feel now. It is up to
you to keep a positive internal dialogue
alive (be your own cheerleader) as a way to
make it through this challenging time. You
can make yourself feel good about who you are
as you focus on your strengths, talents,
values, and abilities and make them work for
you at this time.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com,
Jewish Family and Children's Services
Nov. 9th: 10:00AM - 12:30PM: Seminar:
Intergenerational Family Issues
Temple Beth Shalom, 40-25 Fair Lawn Ave.,
Fair Lawn, NJ. For more information please
call (973) 595-0111.
Anti -Defamation League, Daniel Ginsburg
Humanitarian Award Dinner
Nov. 9th: 5:30PM: Master of
Hyatt Regency Greenwich, 1800 East Putnam
Ave., Old Greenwich, CT. For more information
please call (203) 288-6500.
The Experts' Guide to Doing Things
Chapter: Bury the Hatchet
A Good Daily Habit
Increase Positive Feelings
Take a mental picture or find a real picture
of positive events and revisit these good
times on your own or with others. Write about
them and then read what you wrote and
recreate the feeling of joy that you had when
you experienced it for the first time. You
will RE-EXPERIENCE the feelings.
By remembering times when you felt good, and
doing so on a daily basis, you can develop a
different outlook and improve (or maintain)
your well being.
Increase positive feelings and enjoy the present.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips For Relaxation
In the 1960s, Dr. Herbert Benson coined the
phrase RELAXATION RESPONSE. Fortunately,
since then, many of us have incorporated a
time into our day to calm ourselves; to quiet
the noise within. Research has continued to
show us that our health improves when we
practice this. Wherever I go, with whomever I
speak, I encounter people who are worried and
stressed out. Particularly now, they feel
overwhelmed and challenged by issues related
to work, family, finances, and security.
Participating in a repetitive movement (like
knitting, running, playing music) is one way
to find balance and tranquility in your life.
Another important activity is getting
involved with your breath, shutting out other
concerns for 10-20 minutes to help you face
whatever you are dealing with. When you do
this, you will find a renewed sense of
Giving yourself 10-20 minutes during your day
to allow your mind, spirit, and body to
connect, to release tension through breathing
can make a tremendous difference in how you
face life's challenges. Enjoying these
moments will help bring you to a calmness at
your center. As Jon Kabat Zinn advises in
one of his mindfulness mediations, the
surface of a lake may be agitated or quiet
but there is always stillness at its depth.
Here are two tips for finding your
relaxation response through breathing:
- Visualize - If your mind wanders,
which it likely will, watch your breath and
visualize the world CALM as you breath in.
Adjust to physical changes
with an attitude of CAN DO rather than that
which you can no longer do. As you breathe
out, visualize the word STRESS leaving on
- Choose Your Words - Whatever words
works for you are the words you should use.
Some people use WHOLE as they inhale and
FRACTURED as they exhale. Others see PEACE
coming in and FEAR going out. Some enjoy
LOVE coming in on the inhalation and PAIN
leaving on the exhalation.
Do this every day once or twice for at least
one to two weeks. You will surely see a
difference and then, keep it up! Your health
and well being, during times of strife, is
something you can truly monitor.
"Joy's soul lies in the doing."
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!