Sanity SaversTM and More...
May 2009


In Teaching Children and Grandchildren To Be Charitable I discuss the value of helping children appreciate the value of sharing and contributing one's time and energy with others in need.

In Tips for Keeping Yourself Centered When You Receive Shocking News I offer suggestions for processing difficult news while still maintaining the ability to function and do what you have to do.

As you may know, Jumpstart is a national early education nonprofit organization that pairs caring adults with underserved preschoolers in year long one-to-one mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart and events. If you would like to make a contribution, you may do so at www.jstart.org/don ate.

Once again thank you for helping to get the word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins. com for updates on my appearances related to my newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life. For those of you with wedding related questions, please see my column on WeddingChannel.com at: www.weddingchannel.com/ui/buildArtic l e.action? assetUID=90252&s=84&t=71&p=106184112&c=9025 2&l=137006. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Teaching Children And Grandchildren To Be Charitable
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips For Keeping Yourself Centered When You Receive Shocking News
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    Teaching Children And Grandchildren To Be Charitable

    Who could argue the value for children learning early about the importance of giving their time and money to others? By understanding what it means to be charitable, children can focus on others and the larger world. They can appreciate the interconnectness of all people as they pay attention to the reality that some people live in less fortunate circumstances than others. Finally, they learn that each of us has the ability and responsibility to contribute to making the world a better place.

    Encouraging charitable thoughts and action benefits the children themselves. They can learn empathy for others; they see that their actions can lead to a positive outcome; and they feel connected to a particular community -whether local, regional or international. Additionally, a charitable mindset broadens their ability to comprehend and better cope with their own challenging life events.

    Many children think only of themselves. The world revolves around them and their needs. Helping our children and grandchildren to become aware of and to focus on the needs of others is essential to helping them understand their place in the larger world. Here are some ways you can introduce children to the importance of sharing with and giving to others.

    Be a model. When children know that being charitable is a value in your family they begin to comprehend that this is what "this family" believes in and does. Begin with conversation. When you pass someone in need, talk about that person's situation with compassion and empathy. Be careful NOT to talk about anyone in need with derision or blame. Your discussion will be guided by the age and maturity of your child. Always respect the humanity of the person or people you discuss. If you see someone who is obviously homeless, you may talk about giving money, books or clothing to a local homeless shelter.

    You can help your child decide which organizations can be recipients of your child's time, clothes, toys, food and/or money. Depending on your child's age, help him or her research the different programs and guide them in ways to become involved. It might be helpful to begin locally so that your child can see first-hand the impact of a particular organization. (Buying, bagging and delivering food to a soup kitchen; sorting through toys that your child no longer plays with and participating in cleaning them and wrapping them for children at a community pre-school). Perhaps your child would like to sort through some of his or her gently used clothes and bring them to a particular site. Some kids enjoy preparing and bringing sandwiches or cookies to the volunteers at the local fire department.

    Consider organizations addressing issues of particular interest to your child, such as animal sanctuaries, literacy programs, kids who are ill (collecting baseball caps for kids who lose their hair due to cancer treatments). Encourage your child to volunteer in an organization or in an activity that is meaningful to them. This could include visiting, reading to, and playing games with residents at a nursing home, or writing get-well cards to military service members. Once children decide on a organization, discuss and come up with a plan to regularly set aside part of their allowance for charity. Discuss with them possible allotments, such as 10-15% monthly.

    By getting your children involved with charity in one form or another, you can help them look within to find out what is really important and what their own values are. They will also learn that the reward of giving is knowing that they did something kind or generous for someone else.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Please check www.drdaleatkins.com for current appearances.

    Balance Shmalance; What Really Works?
    May 5th: 11:00AM - 2:00PM, Speaker,
    Temple Israel, Westport, CT.
    Program is sponsored by the Temple Israel Women's Group. Please contact Mary Belletzkie at mbelletzkie@tiwestport.org to register for a light lunch which is provided.

    Aging Well Presentation with Rabbi Edy Mencher
    May 8th: 5:30PM Synyaplex Shabbat
    Temple Israel, Westport, CT.

    Rockford Health System: Healthy Woman 2009
    May 11th: 7:15PM - 8:15PM, Keynote Speaker
    Giovanni's Restaurant & Banquet Hall, 610 North Bell School Rd., Rockford, Il.
    For further information, please call 815-971-DrDr.

    Oregon Chapter of the AG Bell Association of the Deaf
    May 16th: 9:15AM - 11:30AM, Keynote Speaker, Topic: Sanity Saving for Families Who Have a Child with a Hearing Loss; 12:30 - 1:30PM: Moderator of Panel with Teens and their Parents; 2:00 - 3:00PM: Moderator of Panel on Family Dynamics.
    Oregon Health and Sciences University, Portland, OR.

    CT Dept. of Public Health: 2009 Medical Initiative for Children and Youth with Special Health Care Needs: Journey to Adulthood: Family Transition Planning Forum
    May 21st: 9:00AM - 10:30AM at Crowne Plaza, Cromwell, CT and 7 - 8:00PM at Tully Auditorium, Stamford, CT: Speaker, Topic: Keeping the Balance: Professionals, Families, Children and Young Adults with Special Health Care Needs Functioning Effectively as a Team.
    For further information, please contact the CT Dept. of Public Health at 860-509-8057

    See Dr. Atkins' article, Wedding Sanity Savers, in the May 10, 2009 issue of LA Times Magazine.

    Hear Dr. Atkins on the radio show, The M Word, hosted by Lori Sackler, WOR News Talk Radio 710, Sunday evenings 9:30PM EST.

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Relaxing Before Going To Sleep

    Some of us find it difficult to fall asleep when we climb into bed. Our minds keep racing. We think of something that we have forgotten to do that day, or mull over unresolved issues. With challenging schedules and driving desire to fill each moment, it is common for many people to keep the clock running - and never turn it off. What we need to remember is that sleep helps us function optimally. Sleep deprivation does us no good at all. We can work things out, get insight and a fresh perspective when we "sleep on it." We rest and recharge.

    Practicing relaxation techniques prior to sleeping can help us sleep more deeply and aid in restoring our energy to confront daily challenges. Techniques include a soaking in a warm bath, practicing bedtime yoga postures, reading inspirational passages,listening to soothing music, doing a progressive body relaxation, engaging in self hypnosis.

    Practice any of these suggestions and before you go to sleep, tell yourself you will sleep deeply and well.

    By psychologically preparing ourselves for sleep, we can achieve the desired respite.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips For Keeping Yourself Centered When You Receive Shocking News

    Inevitably, we will receive shocking news at some point in our lives.

    It is important that we learn to deal with this sort of news so that we can keep ourselves well during the process and recover from the shock. This requires us to develop the ability to confront trauma in a healthy way. Here are some tips to help you focus during such difficult times:

    • Take Things Slowly - Your ability to process information may be impaired so consciously slow down.

    • Get Help So You Can Focus - Rely on others to help since you may not be thinking clearly.

    • Get Rest And Eat Well - You will need all of your reserves.

    • Keep A List Of What To Do and What Has Been Done - Don't rely on your memory because the stress of the shock makes it difficult to remember and keep yourself organized.

    • Focus On Facts, But Allow Room For Emotions - Do what you have to do; take action, but give yourself time and space to feel the emotional response.

    • Tell Yourself You'll Be OK - You don't have to know how you will, but tell yourself you will get through this.

      Being caught off guard with the arrival of startling, bad news is difficult to manage at first because there is no warning and there is a tendency to deny what you are confronting. Take some time to focus and center yourself, conserve energy, and assess viable next steps.

    A Thought

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am not for others, what am I? And if not now, when?"

    Rabbi Hillel

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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