In The Importance of Extended Family
Relationships to Children
I discuss the value that family members play as
role models and providers of
In Tips for Discussing Money Matters with
I offer suggestions to guide couples in
opening a dialogue about money and preserving
their relationship, particularly during
these challenging financial times.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart and events.
THE MAYOR OF NEW YORK HAS PROCLAIMED THAT
OCTOBER 8, 2009 IS OFFICIALLY READ FOR THE
RECORD DAY IN NYC.
If you would like to make a contribution,
you may do so at www.jstart.org/don
Once again thank you for helping to get the
word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.
updates on my appearances. For
wedding-related questions, please click on
the link for the Wedding Channel on the side
bar of this newsletter.
And if you would like me to speak to your
group or organization, please contact me
directly at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact
the Speakers' Bureau at
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
your friends, loved ones, and colleagues by
clicking Send to a Friend button
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
The Importance of Extended Family Relationships to Children
Extended familial relationships can play
significant roles in children's lives.
Whether you are a grandparent, aunt, uncle,
you can fill a valuable role. As an active
listener and storyteller, you can expose
children to the family history, legacy, and
experiences they would not
have with their parents.
Each individual offers a fresh and different
perspective. Extended family members
contribute their unique views on life which
reflects their values. Children get the
benefit of learning about their family from
other points of view. They also can
appreciate different personalities and
lifestyles in what will hopefully be a loving
environment. These extended family members
offer separate and valued
provide a window to another generation, time,
and way of looking at the world.
If you are a grandparent, uncle, aunt or
cousin, you must remember that you are not
the child's parent. Parents and extended
family members need to have reasonable
expectations regarding roles,
responsibilities, and decision making. With
young children, there is often an expectation
that other family members can and will
perform childcare responsibilities that may
or may not be appropriate or possible.
Sometimes, because of their own needs,
parents do not realize or appreciate how
physically and emotionally tiring it can be
to care for young children, especially when
those giving the care are older people (even
if those older people are in great shape and
seem younger than their years). Consider what
is feasible and clarify with all family
members what will or will not work so that
you can avoid misunderstandings and
Extended family members need to be there in a
positive, supportive way for children and one
way to do that is to avoid talking badly
about the children's parents (especially when
there is a divorce.) Family members must be
respectful and stay out of parenting issues.
If you are not the primary parent and you see
something that you feel needs to come to the
attention of the parents, raise it
uncritically and compassionately. Leave the
children out of it.
Look for ways to form strong bonds with
children by doing things together, even if
you are miles away. Be in touch regularly
and be aware of what is going on in their
lives. Share what you are doing and how you
spend your days. Find out what the child's
interests, hobbies, favorite activities are
learn about them.
Respect the privacy of the
understand that you will be more valued when
you are someone the children want to be with.
Be loving, fun, flexible, interesting,
accepting, uncritical and filled with joy.
The children will find you irresistible.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Oct. 9th: Rebounding from Setbacks.
Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com,
for the most current updates.
Teen Activities Forum
Oct. 19th: 7-9PM. Keynote Speaker.
Topic: How to Help Your Teen Find
Columbia High School, 17 Parker Ave.,
Oct. 20th: Raising Financially
Please consult website,
www.drdaleatkins.com, for place and time.
Center for Hearing and Communication
Nov. 4th: 6-7:30PM. Featured Speaker:
Finding and Keeping a Life in Balance.
50 Broadway, 6th Floor, New York, NY.
Please visit www.chchearing.org
for early registration.
See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's article,
Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform
Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www.reformjudaismmag.org.
There is also a complimentary discussion
guide offering thoughtful questions for
See Dr. Atkins' article, Sanity Savers for
a Balanced Life, in Black Tie Magazine,
Volume 7, Issue 1, pg. 64. www.blacktiemagazine.com
Hear Dr. Atkins on the radio
show, The M Word, hosted by Lori Sackler,
WOR News Talk Radio 710, Sunday evenings
A Good Daily Habit
Drink Enough Water
As simple as it seems, the benefits of
drinking water are powerful. Water is the
one key ingredient to health. All functions
within the body require the presence of
water, and a well hydrated body enables these
functions to occur quickly and efficiently.
Since chemical processes involve energy
drinking plenty of water will make us
feel more energetic.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips For Discussing Finances with your Partner
Can women and men talk about money without
ending up in an argument? Money is an
emotionally loaded topic that few couples
discuss directly. However, many individuals
have a troubled relationship with money and
sooner or later it is bound to become a
potentially explosive issue in a
In order to have a productive discussion,
here are some tips to guide you in your
- Always Be Respectful
- Avoid diminishing your partner. Don't
become accusatory. Find a non-stressful time
when money is not a loaded issue. Agree on
some ground rules: no interrupting each
other; no long tirades; no insults.
- Share Childhood Messages About
Money - Discuss how your parents saved,
spent, and talked about it. How did they
deal with allowances? What specific money
messages did you get and how might they be
affecting you today?
- Share Your Old Hurts, Resentments and
Fears About Money - Mention your
concerns and fears about your partner's money
style. Then acknowledge what you admire
about their methods. Positive statements
help to make partners feel safe enough to
give up the negative aspects of their
- Talk About Your Goals for the
Future - Share your hopes and dreams.
Then consider making a shared budget or a
spending plan together by merging the hopes
and goals that have come on your list more
- Talk Regularly - Set a time to
have the next money talk. Aim for weekly
conversations in the beginning, then monthly
"Despite everything, I believe that people
are really good at heart. "
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!