Greetings and Happy New Year!
In Keeping New Year's Resolutions,
I talk about setting reasonable and realistic
In How To Get Along With People You
Don't Like, I offer tips to help you get
through tricky situations.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY
CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart and
If you would like to make a contribution,
you may do so at
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Women to Live a Balanced Life.
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Keeping New Year's Resolutions
In my book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women
to Live a Balanced Life, the first entry
is making a "new" new year's resolution. The
focus is on attitude. A healthy attitude
helps people become more conscious partners
with themselves as they try to introduce
lasting change into their lives. We are more
likely to have our resolutions come to
fruition if we are mindful of setting
reasonable and realistic goals.
Yes, you can lose 20 pounds by starving
yourself but to make significant life
to keep those 20 pounds off, then it is the
long term attitude, complete with a plan and
support from caring people, a commitment to
what life would be like living within the
framework of a healthier lifestyle (complete
with exercise, good nutrition, and a workable
stress management program) which will enable
you to keep off those 20 pounds.
What makes a difference is to think about
what is really important in our lives
consider how the way we live reflects our
values. Considering ways to make significant
change is easier if we examine what is truly
meaningful. Explore what ignites your
passion. People who love animals but don't
have pets can get their "animal fix" as
well as making a significant contribution by
volunteering at an animal shelter or walking
a neighbor's dog on a regular basis.
If your resolution is about being less
stressed, think about which small changes you
can institute to reduce your feeling
overwhelmed. Maybe being less connected from
work in the evening (turn off the PDA for 2 -
3 hours), making a commitment to walk in
nature every week, enroll in a
relaxation/breathing, meditation, tai chi or
yoga class. If you want to revitalize your
interest in live music, sign up for a concert
series and put those dates on your calendar.
Just knowing you did it will make you feel
you are reaching a "reasonable" goal that
will occur year long.
Remember, successful resolutions are closely
tied to your attitude about being able to
make something happen. Believe you can do it
and put into place short term, "doable" steps
to help you to make it to your goal. Reward
yourself along the way. Be your own
cheerleader. Remind yourself of what is
possible. Keep yourself "real" by reading
inspirational stories of others who have
accomplished what you are trying to do. Keep
your focus on challenging yourself in order
to grow and change. Remember all change has
some discomfort along the way. Keep sight of
your goal to help achieve it. Old attitudes
as well as other people's perceptions of you
can hold you back from achieving your goal.
Go off the familiar path to find new ways of
thinking and looking at yourself and go for
TODAY Show (NBC)
Jan. 1st: New Year's Resolutions You Can
Please check my website,
for the most current updates.
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family
Involvement and Counseling in Serving
Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing,"
in the new text, Introduction
to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by
See Making the Case for Family
Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case-
See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's
Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform
Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www
There is also a complimentary discussion
guide offering thoughtful questions for
A Good Daily Habit
When we are under stress or pushed to the
edge of our sanity, it is easy to get upset and
dwell on our anger, and then react. Why not
try something different?
You can choose to think about a situation
differently, thus giving you the opportunity to
experience a different sort of emotional
happiness comes from within; it can't be
forced by outside forces. So how do you
choose happiness? The same away you
choose to smile or choose to wear a certain
outfit. You choose it because that's what you
want to experience in your life.
At first it will be difficult to just switch your
thoughts and feelings from anger, self-doubt,
or fear to joy and happiness. But it is only a
thought away. Move on and choose to be
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
People You Don't Like But Have To See
Tips For Getting Along
It's inevitable that at some point we will
spend time with people we don't like. Maybe you
don't like your spouse's best friend or your
Here are some simple tips
for getting through these tricky situations:
You Don't Get Along With A Relative -
someone you can't avoid completely but with
whom you can spend only so much time
before he/she starts to drive you crazy. Keep
activities confined to neutral zones, such as
going to a movie or a restaurant. Don't try to
redesign someone's personality. Focus on
one or two admirable qualities.
You Don't Like Your Partner's Friend -
See this friend through your partner's eyes.
Maybe they have a long history together; they
may have helped one another through some
difficult life challenges. You are not there to
judge. Find something you like or can
appreciate about this friend. Tell your partner
that you are fine not being included in some of
their time together. However, if there is
something important in the friend's life, put
your feelings aside and "show up."
You Don't Like Your Child's Spouse -
Even when it is tough, make every effort to get
along with your child's spouse. Care about
him/her and show respect. Avoid criticizing
and saying anything bad about this person
unless you see your child is in danger and
then, say whatever you intend to say with
great care and tact. You don't want to put your
child in the middle of a conflict between you
and his spouse, and it is not fair to make your
child choose between the two of you.
You Don't Like Your Houseguest - Try
out some time for yourself. Find something
relaxing and recharging that you love to do.
Take a quiet walk by yourself. Have a relaxing
bath. Meditate. Consider having them do
some dishes or fold some laundry; this can
help to greatly reduce your own stress level,
and possibly enjoy some time with your
"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with
your neighbors, and let each new year find you a
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!