Sanity SaversTM and More...
February 2010


In Finding the Work - Life Balance, I talk about maintaining reasonable expectations when juggling elements of your life.

In Dating Over 50, I suggest tips to help you enter the dating world.

WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education nonprofit organization that pairs caring adults with underserved preschoolers in year long one-to-one mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart and events. If you would like to make a contribution, you may do so at www.jstart.org/donate.

Once again thank you for helping to get the word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances. For wedding-related questions, please click on the link for the Wedding Channel on the side bar of this newsletter. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

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Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Finding the Work - Life Balance
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Over 50 and Dating
    Tips For Today's Dating
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    Finding the Work - Life Balance

    It is possible to have balance in your life IF you understand that, like a see-saw, balance takes some delicate shifting and constant monitoring. Invariably, life, like that see-saw, will have someone jumping off the other end and send you flying. That's life, but also part of the balancing act.

    Some times are much more challenging than others. The way to deal with the everyday and the unexpected is to have a formula in place. Instead of hanging on to old habits which may not work anymore, think about what makes your life work.

    Visualize yourself juggling lots of life balls (name each one: children, partner, work, friends, housekeeping, community service, fitness, social life, older parents, spiritual life, hobbies, etc.) and notice that when one or more balls fall, you likely focus on those rather than the ones you are still juggling.

    Some of those balls on the floor need to be put down for a while; a day, a week, a year, longer, while some balls get bigger and smaller. The work ball may be manageable until your peer gets laid off and you are now handling more of a workload than is reasonable. The family ball may be manageable until you pick up the phone and learn that your father who lives 2,000 miles away had a stroke and your brother is out of the country. So, putting those balls down when you have to in order to keep balance is a healthy thing to do.

    The one ball you don't want to put down, no matter what is going on, is the "take care of me" ball. You need to keep that one in the air (a walk in the morning, a quiet meditation, reading a list of the things you are grateful for, etc.). This is the ball that allows you to keep many of the others in the air.

    Work life balance is about maintaining reasonable expectations, understanding that things will be out of balance from time to time. Everything is temporary. You focus on small areas of your life to maintain balance during particularly difficult times (bringing your best friend with you when go to a scary doctor's appointment), keeping your eye on the important aspects of life, being grateful for that which you already have, taking care of yourself, being as organized as possible (so you find your keys quickly) inviting, training, and allowing people to help (teaching your partner or your kids how to shop for food, prepare healthy meals), appreciate and be satisfied with "less than perfect."

    So, take a breath, be fully present, smile, and appreciate that moment.


    TODAY Show (NBC)

    Please check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for the most current updates.

    Silver Bridge Advisors
    Feb. 2: 6PM Panel Discussion: Raising Financially Thoughtful Children.
    Institute of Contemporary Art/Boston

    RIDBC Renwick Centre, Royal Institute for Deaf and Blind Children
    Feb. 22nd-24th: Keeping the Balance: Professionals, Families, Children and Young Adults with Sensory Impairment
    North Rocks, Australia

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
    Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

    See Making the Case for Family Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case- family-dinner/3-a-62563

    See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's article, Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform Judaism Magazine, Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www .reformjudaismmag.org. There is also a complimentary discussion guide offering thoughtful questions for conversation.

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Five Minute Breaks

    When you are run down and feeling drained, the choices you make are not the same as when you are feeling energized. Taking frequent 5-minute breaks throughout your day helps to reduce your level of stress. Consider walking outside, visualizing your goals already accomplished, breathing deeply from your belly, or listening to your favorite music as you dance.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Over 50 and Dating
    Tips For Today's Dating

    Dating when you are over 50 may seem intimidating. You may worry about not being as attractive as when you were younger. Or, that you are "out of practice" or that your "best years" are behind you. In addition, the rules of the dating world and game have changed. It is less formal and more internet based.

    Rather than focus on the negative, look at the positive about yourself. You do not need to feel overwhelmed by either the process or the prospects. Remind yourself that you are experienced, more mature, and likely have confidence that you may not have had in your youth.

    Here are some tips for for moving forward:

    Go Online - Use the internet not just as a way to find Mr. or Miss Right, but expand your network. Meet new and reconnect with people from your past with similar interests as yours. Look at social networking sites such as MEETUP.COM and FACEBOOK. Be careful not to give too much personal information (phone numbers, addresses, e-mail addresses etc.). Meet people at public places . Tell a friend where you are, check in with them so your date knows someone knows where you are.

    Consider What Is Really Important To You - What was important when you were younger (starting a family, financial security) may not be as important now (having fun, companionship, comfort, kindness, adventure). Are you looking for someone to marry? Someone to be connected to without legal entanglement? Someone to date or travel with or go to dinner with? Someone to have a sexual relationship with? Be clear about what you want and what is non-negotiable.

    Approach Dating As An Adventure - Be open and have a positive attitude. Keep it light and be forgiving, flexible, tolerant about age and appearance. Go out of your comfort zone and consider meeting people from different backgrounds, age groups, cultures, races, and religions.

    Widen Your Experiences - You need to be interesting. Keep current and aware of what is "hip and in." Engage the people you meet. Enroll in a class, learn something you are curious about, begin a hobby, and develop a passion that has been on hold.

    Keep both your mind and heart open. Appreciate that dating today is different from the way it was and that can be a very good thing. Take initiative, take a risk, and learn about yourself in the process.

    A Thought

    "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving."

    Albert Einstein

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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