Sanity SaversTM and More...
May 2011


In the The Five P's I discuss the importance of pausing and reflecting instead of immediately responding in a manner you may regret.

In Changing an Annoying Behavior I offer tips to redirect your attention for developing healthier life habits.

WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education nonprofit organization that pairs well-trained, caring adults with underserved preschoolers who live in poverty in year long mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart, initiatives - such as Scribbles to Novels, May 4th, 2011; Playdate With A Purpose; and Read for the Record. Please contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate.

There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world.

Please see Marlo Thomas' new website, www.marlothomas.com, where I discuss psychology and relationship issues. Marlo Thomas and I talk about families and the holidays. Tune in for some sanity saving ideas for YOUR family gatherings.

Once again thank you for continuing to read and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances and use the Quick Links sidebar to access ongoing articles. I am available to speak to your group or organization. Please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones, and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • Sanity SaversTM
    The Five "P's"
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Changing an Annoying Behavior
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM
    The Five "P's"
    fork in road

    There are moments in our lives when we feel "hit" with something that we feel requires an immediate response. We may sense some urgency that indeed may not really be there, or some personal assault to our ego that we cannot abide. So we act in response to whatever happened without processing the event, the feelings, the experience.

    Some of us say or do something in a knee jerk fashion and that response may or may not serve us, the other person, or the situation well. Likely, with hindsight, we conclude that responding after having given more consideration would have been the better option.

    With the exception of VERY FEW instances, most of us do have the "luxury" (although we don't really believe it at the time) to consider a response before offering the first one that comes to our head. For many reasons, we often respond too soon and in doing so, we miss opportunities for reflection, growth, awareness and perhaps equally important, changing patterns.

    If your goal is to come out with the best "dig" then stop reading now. The goal is not to destroy, belittle, demean, or defend, but rather to communicate with the best chance of connecting and moving forward as you increase the opportunity of being understood and understanding the other person's point of view.

    In order to do that you need patience and perspective. It is virtually impossible to gain perspective without patience. Perspective requires taking both a step back and a few deep breaths while you open your mind and heart to possibilities. This is what is called a called a "win-win."

    First, Ponder.

    Then Process.

    Create a Plan.

    Perfect the plan. Practice different scenarios for what your response will evoke (think out of the box for this one).

    Then present what you have created.

    Likely your mood will be calmer than when you first considered whatever it was in the heat of the moment. Your "new and improved" response, because it is thoughtful and considered, is more likely be received well.

    No one wants to engage while feeling on the defensive. It is too difficult to reach understanding, develop empathy, and create harmony when content and affect (tone, body language, attitude) give the impression of an unwillingness to cooperate.

    Keep in mind that your goal is to increase the chances of communicating effectively, respectfully, and finding a viable resolution for all involved.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for latest updates, including changes of time.

    Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

    Scribbles to Novels
    Join me and Zoe Saldana, Rosanne Cash, Harlan Coben, and Thomas Chatterton Williams on May 4th to celebrate the work of Jumpstart, www.jstart.org/site/PageServer?pagename=GetInvolved_Event_ScribblesNYC.

    Estelle Samuelson Award In Psychology
    May 17th: The Center for Hearing and Communication will present Dr. Atkins with this award at their Annual Meeting in New York City.

    Westport Center for Senior Activities
    May 15th: 2:30PM. Speaker: "New Ideas on Keeping Your Life Exciting and Interesting - At Any Age!"
    Please call 203- 341-5099 to reserve your seat.
    21 Imperial Ave., Westport, CT.

    Avon Theatre: Panel Discussion
    May 23rd: 7PM screening: Two Angry Moms; 8PM Panelist.
    Documentary about school food and strategies needed for overcoming roadblocks and getting healthy, good-tasting, real food into school cafeteria.
    Cocktails at 6PM.
    Sponsored by the Childhood Blueprint - Bringing improved health, learning, and growing for all children 0-8 years of age.
    Stamford, CT.

    Darby and Friends
    April 1st: Talking About Difficult Things

    Jack Birnberg Speaks Out Radio Show
    April 29th: Alzheimer's Disease
    WVNJ 1160 AM, www.wvnj.com

    Read Dr. Atkins' And Edythe Mencher's article in Reform Judaism Magazine,
    Winter 2010 Issue, Cover Story: Behind Bullying, and When Jack Pushed Jill Down the Hill.
    Online at www.reformjudaismmag.com.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
    Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
    Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

    I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
    bamboo stone fountain

    Making Decisions in Peace

    We are all in the process of healing and maintaining our heath. A friend sent this to me, and I share it with you. It applies to so much of life.

    Ask yourself this question each day (as many times during the day as necessary): For every decision or action you are considering taking, next ask yourself whether it will give you more peace than you have right now.

    This is what heals you as a person beyond just curing a cancer or disease. (Dr. Mitch Gaynor).

    Work towards having more peace in your decisions and actions each and every day.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Changing an Annoying Behavior
    nail biting

    Some of us have "annoying" (and at times, self destructive) behaviors that we practice, most often, without thinking much about them. Sometimes our behavior becomes part of our self definition. We say, "I am a nail biter."

    By becoming more conscious of the habit and replacing the destructive act with a constructive act we can make a tremendous difference while creating healthy change.

    Here are some tips to consider, using nail biting as an example:

    First, Breathe Deeply - As soon as you are about to put your fingers into your mouth, stop, then breathe deeply and look at them.

    Visualize - Visualize how lovely your nails will look manicured. Hold one hand with the other and really "see" them looking healthier. Carry around hand cream and massage it into your fingernails whenever you can.

    Refocus Your Thinking - When you are massaging your fingernails, redirect your thoughts and preconceived images about your hands. Proactively massage them, and begin to see them looking and feeling better.

    Within a short period of time, you will begin to see change and you will feel proud of your ability to create that which you want.

    Redirection: so simple yet effective! Think of other areas where you can apply this concept in your life.

    A Thought

    "The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you somebody else."

    e.e. cummings

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
    Quick Links...




    Dr. Dale's Sanity Savers for a Balanced Life

    Dr. Dale's Healthy Eating & Lifestyle Advice

    Dr. Dale's Wedding Advice

    Contact Us

    Website Developer

    I'm OK
    You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works

    Now in Paperback!

    Join our mailing list!