Sanity SaversTM and More...
October 2011


In Patience I discuss how each of us can benefit from being conscious of and developing patience.

In Building Resiliency As You Work Through Anxiety I suggest tips to get through situations that may cause us fear or anxiety.

WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education nonprofit organization that pairs well-trained, caring adults with underserved preschoolers who live in poverty in year long mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart initiatives - such as Scribbles to Novels; Playdate With A Purpose; and Read for the Record.

I am honored to be Jumpstart's Read for the Record's National Spokesperson on NBC's Today Show on October 6, 2011. Please watch, become involved, and if you can, contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate.

There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world. Begin by reading Llama Llama Red Pajama to a child and raise awareness about the importance of reading in children's lives. Let us eliminate the 2-year achievement gap that exists between children from low income and those from middle income neighborhoods when they begin kindergarten!

Please see Marlo Thomas' website, www.marlothomas.com, where I discuss psychology and relationship issues. Marlo Thomas and I talk about families and the holidays (and we surely have a lot of holidays!). Tune in for some sanity saving ideas for YOUR family gatherings.

Once again thank you for continuing to read and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances and use the Quick Links sidebar to access ongoing articles. I am available to speak to your group or organization. Please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones, and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • Sanity SaversTM
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Building Resiliency As You Work Through Anxiety
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Sanity SaversTM

    PATIENCE. What is it? Patience implies calm, stability, and persistent courage in exasperating or frustrating circumstances. It infers an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay or our perception of someone else's manner, personality, abilities or lack thereof, or a situation that challenges us. Patience represents quiet, steady perseverance, even-tempered care, and diligence.

    Patience is also the level of endurance one's character can take before negativity sets in.

    Who talks about it? Patience is a prominent theme in Western and Eastern religions. Valued as an important personal trait and virtue, we are encouraged to have patience in order to find the strength needed to be closer to God, to endure difficult situations, and to maintain good relations.

    Numerous Old and New Testament references chide the ill-tempered response and extol the patient. "Better is the patient spirit than the lofty spirit. Do not in spirit become quickly discontented, for discontent lodges in the bosom of a fool." (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9). Thessalonians states that we should "be patient with all. See that no one returns evil for evil; rather, always seek what is good for each other and for all" (1 Thessalonians 5:14-15.) Buddhism teaches us that patience refers to not returning harm, rather than merely enduring a difficult situation. It is the ability to control one's emotions even when being criticized or attacked. In both Hinduism and Buddhism there is a particular emphasis on meditation, aspects of which lead to a natural state of mindfulness that is advantageous to patient, effective, and well-ordered thought. Is it any wonder that discussions, classes, trainings in learning about meditation has become more popular within a culture that is known for its impatience?

    Simply stated, reacting with a short temper prevents you from appreciating a different pace or perspective. When you don't have patience with yourself you are likely not to have it with another. Over time, impatience (whether with yourself or others) erodes trust and serenity within you as well as within relationships. For some of us, a calm demeanor seems unattainable. For others, our composure and tranquility underscores the way we live and approach all of life.

    The good news is that if a person desires, anyone can develop patience. The self-control, peace, and equanimity that result are life changing as they allow space to develop compassion; not only for oneself but for others - those you know and those you don't. It is an energy that affects your thoughts, which affects your feelings, which affects your attitudes and behavior.

    When you demonstrate patience you can feel lighter. Instead of being reactive, you get a sense of what is going on within yourself and in the situation. You wait, you observe, and then you can decide what, if anything, you want to do. You do not act in a knee jerk fashion but rather from a place of thought and feeling. Remember: patience implies power and not indifference.

    When we take time to reflect, we respond with the benefit of getting perspective. We must stop, take a step back, and breathe deeply. Only then can we comfortably consider the consequences of different types of responses. We can choose the one that will benefit the people and situation now and in the future.

    When we do this, we give ourselves and others a gift. Be conscious of what you think, feel, say, and do. Watch and listen to yourself and attend to whether patience is something you want in your life so that you and those in your life will be more peaceful and open.


    TODAY Show (NBC)
    October 6th: Topic: Jumpstart, Read for the Record. Dr. Atkins as National Spokesperson.
    Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for latest updates, including changes of time.

    NBC TV Satellite Tour
    October 4th: Throughout the morning, this tour will raise awareness of the importance of pre-school literacy for Jumpstart's Read for the Record program on October 6th.

    Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

    The Wall Street Journal's The Juggle
    October 6th: interview with Dr. Atkins about making time (and why it is important) to read to young children in your VERY busy day.

    Access Circles Retreat
    October 13-14th, 4-6PM: Moderator for Panel Discussion, "Inspired Philanthropy: Women Changing the World through Strategic Philanthropy."
    Ocean House
    Watch Hill, Rhode Island.

    Greenwich Affirmative Action Committee
    October 18th, Noon: Speaker, "Bullying in the Workplace."
    Town Hall, Greenwich, CT.

    Read Dr. Atkins' article about charitable children, at www.jccgreenwich.org/index.php?option=com_myblog&Itemid=91.

    Read Dr. Atkins' And Edythe Mencher's article in Reform Judaism Magazine,
    Winter 2010 Issue, Cover Story: Behind Bullying, and When Jack Pushed Jill Down the Hill.
    Online at www.reformjudaismmag.com.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
    Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
    Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

    I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
    tree pose

    Balance Posture

    One of the best ways to balance your life is to balance your body. Stand on one foot and focus yourself as you feel the energy come up from the earth through your feet. Let an imaginary string extend out of the top of your head, keeping you straight and tall. This is called the "tree pose" in yoga, and you can increase your balance and focus on your ability to achieve your goals.

    When your mind is all over the place, it is nearly impossible to have balance in your life or to maintain a body in balance. However, with practice you will be able to achieve the pose and hold it for a few minutes. Over time, when you focus when you repeat this pose, you can start overcoming obstacles in your mind that prevent you from being in balance.

    Balance yourself through posture and imagery.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Building Resiliency As You Work Through Anxiety
    brighter outlook

    If you have been feeling anxious for some time, saving your sanity is about dealing with stress that either comes from or is the cause of anxiety. Either way, your sanity needs to be preserved. Depending on a variety of factors, anxiety can be reduced by therapy, relaxation techniques, meditation, biofeedback, and changes in lifestyle.

    Despite the route you choose (or combination of routes) learning how to breathe deeply (from and into your belly, instead of short, shallow breaths in the upper part of your chest) will help to ground you and give you confidence that whatever is disturbing you will be able to be dealt with in a healthy way. Deep breathing, along with a simple, progressive relaxation of your body, can guide you to a feeling of less anxiety and increased well-being. Practice quieting yourself, visualize a positive outcome, and find the spot in your body where you are NOT tight and see that relaxed spot as increasingly spreading to the rest of your body.

    Here are some other tips for building resiliency as you work through anxiety:

    Get Connected. - Reach out to others who care about you. Avoid the urge to retreat and isolate yourself. It is in linking with others that you can find the connection within yourself that you need to be strong.

    Use Humor and Laughter - Step away from the situation and find something utterly silly or ridiculous in the circumstance and bask in that feeling, even for a moment.

    Remain Hopeful and Optimistic. - Believe you will be okay and that you will grow in ways that have yet to be revealed.

    Accept and Anticipate Change. - Know that there will be change and assure yourself you will be able to handle whatever it is. Keep focused as you celebrate your growing ability to be flexible and open in the face of the unknown.

    Quiet Yourself. - Dedicate time each day to "taking a vacation from your worrisome thoughts" as you focus on breathing deeply, listening to sounds of silence, and feeling your body, mind, and spirit become calm.

    Take Action. - Make a plan to change what you can, one step at a time. Remind yourself that you will be fine. You have gone through this before and you have survived. Each time you utilize some of the techniques that you know are helpful, you are empowering yourself.

    Release the need to control that which you cannot change.

    A Thought

    "Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself."

    Saint Francis De Sales

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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