Sanity SaversTM and More...
September 2013


In this month's article, Life is a teacher. How good a student am I?, I discuss the various lessons we have the chance to learn as we live our lives.

In Tips for Transitioning Friendships, I invite you to consider the meaning of some of the friendships in your life.

Charity in Bloom:
FLOWERS! Who doesn't light up when they receive FLOWERS? Jumpstart is excited to be partnering again with Winston Flowers' Charity In Bloom program for the whole month of September. That means that 20% of the proceeds from an exclusive floral design, created just for Jumpstart, will be donated to Jumpstart (see Jumpstart section below). What's also exciting is that Winston Flowers can deliver these exclusive arrangements anywhere in the country, just in time for back to school, religious holidays, birthdays, anniversaries or any occasion. Watch for more exciting details. Let's support Winston Flowers as they support JUMPSTART! Visit http://www.winstonflowers.com/Collection/Charity-In-Bloom/Jumpstart

Please visit my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for information and updates about my professional interests, thoughts, and engagements. Please contact me directly if you would like me to speak to your group or organization at dale@drdaleatkins.com.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletters by clicking the Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.


In this issue
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Life is a teacher. How good a student am I?
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Tips for Transitioning Friendships
  • Happenings
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • A Thought

  • Sanity SaversTM
    Life is a teacher. How good a student am I?
    sole sailor

    If, as many assert, life is the best teacher, an important question we can ask ourselves is, How good a student am I?

    What and how do we learn from our lives?

    The most difficult challenges offer opportunities to learn the most worthwhile lessons. These situations challenge our perception and faith in ourselves, in others, and in God. Whether we are facing a serious illness in ourselves or someone close to us; the death of a loved one; a reversal of fortune, a marriage's dissolution; surviving a flood, fire, or earthquake; our resolve and resilience are tested.

    Whatever happens, we are offered opportunities to learn. As we ride (or are knocked around by) the wave of the crisis, our attitude and actions determine how we absorb all that we can process.

    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
    buckets of flowers

    Recognizing Feelings of Joy

    Instead of suppressing or ignoring feelings of joy within us, embrace them with a full and open heart. When we allow them their full space and just notice the possibilities within ourselves, without censure, we feel lighter, and more connected to the world.

    Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Tips for Transitioning Friendships
    transition bridge

    Friendships are precious. Recently, a good friend shared this with me: "Some friends are for a reason. Some are for a season. Some are for a lifetime."

    When we consider this, we can appreciate our friendships in a different way. The love and lessons we have learned from friends will always be with us.

    We may feel that we want to give more to the friends we want to spend time with and whose friendships we enjoy nourishing. Perhaps someone we know wants more than we can give at this time. We may feel comfortable about having them as an acquaintance but their desire is for a closer relationship. Clearly what we can offer is not enough for them. It can be uncomfortable to repeatedly offer excuses, and we may find our own level of discomfort rising because their sincere invitations make us feel uncomfortable.

    The fact that a friendship does not suit us at a particular time of our life is important to honor. Acting on it can be difficult but it can be freeing to examine what options are available as we live honestly and treat people decently. In the process, however, we must realize that boundaries and empathy are two important elements in friendship whenever we consider transitioning.

    Here are some helpful tips to guide you:

    Recognize that we have the right to spend our time with whomever we choose. - We are the ones in charge of our lives. Ultimately, we take responsibility for planning how and with whom we share our time and our lives. We may have feelings of discomfort about telling someone we are not as available as they would like and that pursuing a friendship of the kind they want is not possible for us right now. It is significantly kinder to communicate directly and from our heart than receiving repeated invitations that we consistently turn them down which can be extremely hurtful. The person may wonder what is "wrong" with them or why they are not "good enough". When we take on the responsibility of not being able to be engaged to the depth the other person wants, the onus is no longer on them. Everyone deserves to feel valued for the person they are.

    When not accepting the friendship do not diminish the person. - If we want this person in our life, we need to let them know what we can and cannot do. We need to offer our concern that our being unavailable may be hurtful; that we put a lot of time and energy into friendships and that at this point in your life, we know we cannot do that with them. We need to share that we appreciate their desire to include us in their life in a more significant way than we are able to participate in but we don't like the way it feels when we cannot hold up our part of a relationship and we don't think it is fair or in the spirit of a good friendship to do something part way.

    There are ways to address "releasing" old friends lovingly. Once we know what we want and need, we can do this with a sense of respect for what the friendship gave us in the past, why we were in it, and understand the lessons we learned from having been in it.


    TODAY Show (NBC).
    Dr. Atkins is a frequent contributor.

    Sept. 3rd: 9AM hour, "Tis' the Season" - Coping with changes that autumn brings.

    Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for updated appearances.

    Charity in Bloom to Benefit Jumpstart, in partnership with Winston Flowers
    September 11th: 6-8PM.
    Rooftop Garden
    382 Greenwich Ave., Greenwich, CT.
    RSVP - Alexis Terrizzi, alexis.terrizzi@jstart.org; 212-868-2526, ext. 15.

    TC Today Magazine
    Dr. Atkins is the focus of Work - Life Balance, written by James Reisler. Access PDF of the article at www.drdaleatkins.com.

    Topics by Dr. Dale Atkins:
    Tips for Getting Along with In-Laws: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Getting-Along-With-In-Laws.htm;
    Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-a-Troubled-Marriage.htm;
    Issues to Deal with before Marriage: http://video.about.com/marriage/Types-of-Issues-to-Deal-With-Before-Getting-Married.htm;
    Warning Signs of Cheating Spouse: http://video.about.com/marriage/Warning-Signs-of-Cheating-Spouses.htm; Tips for Maintaining Interfaith Marriages: http://video.about.com/marriage/Tips-for-Maintaining-Interfaith-Marriages.htm;
    Tips for Growing Old Together
    and, Most Important Questions to Ask Before Getting Married: http://video.about.com/marriage/Most-Important-Questions-to-Ask-Before-Getting-Married.htm

    Additional Articles linked to Dr. Atkins:

    Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
    Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
    Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

    I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.

    My sincere thanks to website developer, Barry Brothers, who, along with Carina Ramirez Cahan, brought vision and positive, creative energy to the site. Do take a look at Barry's work here: http://www.thelimulusgroup.com/bb and consider him for your business, development, design and communication needs.

    Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!

    Once again thank you for continuing to read and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.


    WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education organization that recruits and trains college students and community corps members to serve preschool children in low-income neighborhoods in year-long mentoring relationships. Jumpstart also partners with families, preschool centers, institutions of higher education, community groups and a variety of other groups and individuals to make certain that every stakeholder in a child's life is working to provide them with a high quality early education.

    Jumpstart's proven curriculum helps children develop the language, literacy, and socio-emotional skills they need to be ready for school, setting them on a path to close the achievement gap before it is too late.

    Please help to spread the word about the mission of Jumpstart and the remarkable strides being made in low income neighborhoods every day. If you can, contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate www.jstart.org/donate. There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world. Let us eliminate the 2-year achievement gap that exists between children from low income and those from middle income neighborhoods when they begin kindergarten!

    Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart initiatives - such as Scribbles to Novels, We Give Books, and Read for the Record.

    A Thought

    "Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious Ambiguity."

    Gilda Radner

    coral sweater 1

    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • Find out more....
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